Bend it like Beckham...!!!!

Don’t know why some guys really think that a girl only knows about those cute guys like Messi, kaka or Ronaldo when it comes about football…??? 

While some yearn for Beckham & Ronaldo’s good looks, I give them kudos for their skills and incredible free kick outside the 20-yard box. While the faces of Messi, Kaka and Drogba might become household names due to branding on the side of KFC boxes, for those who love football, they are shining stars year-round for their goal scoring performances at club level. And while there are women who would swig beers and occasionally glance at the TV screen, how many go to a bar, any bar with a TV screen with the game on, solo, because it’s 90 minutes of your life you wouldn’t rather spend anywhere else? I can assure you, not many. 

So am I so eager to impress that I’m going to lie about my love for football? Do they honestly believe I want their validation so badly that I’m going to fake small talk about it? Do they truly imagine that football is the only thing I can come up with to impress them? Or that I want to impress them at all? 

Well the topic started when one of my colleague whose name is similar to one of the international player of a big fame club came up with the sentences like “I am actually/pretty surprised that you know that player..” 

Honestly speaking I have a lot of experience dealing with men who can’t fathom that a girl knows her football. I’m not saying I’m some crazy stat machine who can pump out numbers and facts from decades back (my brain doesn’t work like that), but I know my shit, I watch every game and I’m a huge fan. And since I’m a girl: I’m also helpful! (Women: we LOVE to please!) So when a guy in a sports bar throws out a question to everyone in the vicinity, if I know the answer, I give it. 

There are several reasons that men may not hear the answer they’re seeking until someone of their gender gives it to them. Perhaps they tune me out. Maybe they don’t believe I know the answer. It’s possible that they’d feel more comfortable hearing it from someone “else.” 

Even if it’s a girl holding a candle for a side, or one with a full-on blaze, fellas, there are girls out there who love football just as much as you do, and, if you’re liming in a bar watching the game, you just might bounce up one. 

Whatever the secondary reason is, the primary reason men in sports bars ignore my responses is abundantly clear: 

It’s because I’m a woman. 

I know. It’s so cliché, but ugh: it’s so true.   

The ‘ugly’ truth behind Matrimony sites!

I happened to spend some time with an old friend over the weekend. As we relived our college days and laughed over endless gossip, there was something very serious she had to share with me. She is 26 and like in any other household, the pressure of marriage was at its peak. When I asked her what was happening on wedding front, ‘MATRIMONY’ she said in frustration!

When her parents and nosy relatives failed to set her up with a boy, the only source left was matrimonial sites. So her parents signed her up for an online matchmaking site. ‘I was not irritated, hassled or embarrassed, even when I had to meet a guy to figure out if he was ‘my kind’, but these online portals can do nothing but make you lose faith in marriage’, she added. Wondering why? Here are the reasons.

1. Firstly, huge ads are used to show off how many people use the portal to find a soul mate. The models in the ad try to paint a picture like there can be nothing better in the world than a marriage through their site. But, yes, the only thing these models finally care about is their looks and the money they get for posing. Just not convincing enough!

2. There is a column called ‘our success couples’ which supposedly lists a bunch of couples who enjoy a successful marriage, thanks to the site (couldn’t laugh more). How do they arrive at these conclusions? And who exactly defines a successful marriage? Goof up number 2!

3. Third is the preference of caste. In the so-called process of ‘simplifying’ the groom or bride hunt, there are a zillion castes that these sites portray, enabling you to select your own and find your match in the same circle. Does that mean we will be happier if we marry within the caste or are they trying to convey they are against inter-caste marriages? They rather have professional subsections like IT, CA, Engineer than Brahmins, Punjabis and Bengalis….. Makes the hunt simpler!

4. And now, the icing on the cake! The requirements, sorry, the conditions our grooms have. Sample a few.

A.    Girl must be traditional, but outspoken. What does that mean? Is my grammar poor? Makes me wonder!
B.    Professionally qualified, not too fair, not too dark, medium height and weight, willing to move out of the city, modern and home loving! Wake up to reality men! This is for a life partner hunt, not a model for a Sunrise advertisement.
C.    Girl must be well trained in domestic responsibilities – A servant in short huh?

These are a few major highlights, bound to put off women who have registered on Matrimony sites, but YES, this is how marriage is SOLD! While this might sound like my friend is being judgmental, I’m pretty sure most women out there (at least to an extent) would happily agree to all that’s been said here.

Lastly, I am not advocating ALL marriages from Matrimony sites have similar stories, but YES there are such cases as well..

Ref. MSN She

Female foeticide on the rise....

The barbaric acts that are committed against women are endless and there's no single cause behind these issues. The secondary status of women and the fact that she is considered nothing more than a commodity has a significant role to play behind the imbalance in female to male sex ratio.

In India, female foeticide and infanticide are rampant and the number of cases being reported is increasing by the day. Rural areas without means to determine the sex of their child wait till it is born and when the newborn is a girl child; they go ahead and kill the baby without a second thought. These babies are strangled to death, poisoned, starved or sometimes, even thrown in garbage bins. The male child is considered to be superior and its birth is celebrated by one and all. The continued practice of dowry, even though it is illegal and a fear that the girl child may be abused are believed to be some reasons behind the increasing number of incidences of female foeticide in India.

China is another example where technology seems to have facilitated the slaughter of the girl child even before its birth. Gender identification by ultrasound scanning has only aggravated the situation and helped enhance the menace. It's disturbing to see the indifference in the attitude of government and medical professionals. The government has banned determination of sex of the baby in the womb but several cases of illegal practices and unsafe abortions have been reported. The 'Dying Rooms' report by BBC many years ago had claimed that conscious decisions to let infants die of starvation were made by orphanages in China. On the outskirts of Beijing many have reported that newborn baby girls were being abandoned to starve and die. 

Many have voiced their concern over this sensitive issue and campaigns have been launched to create awareness. The menace will be hard to fight till we all realise that each girl child born is a unique and valuable human being who is entitled to equal opportunities as everyone else. It does not matter whether she is born in an affluent family or in some faraway village, she has the right to live and live it without submitting to anyone's dictates. Society needs to change its notion that a woman should be submissive and obedient towards her husband/father. Gender discrimination only makes the situation worse and people go on living this life of blissful unawareness. Many states in India have witnessed adverse demographic implications and a dip in the number of girls born.

According to a United Nations report, an estimated 2000 unborn girls are illegally aborted in India every day. Parts of Haryana have witnessed a dip in sex ratio - 618 girls for 1,000 boys. On the whole, while the national sex ratio is 933 per 1,000 men, in Haryana, Punjab, Chandigarh, and Delhi, it is below 900. Such alarming figures are sure to raise doubts in our mind whether enough has been done to curb female foeticide. The deeply entrenched values and beliefs that exist in our society are a hindrance to the all round development of women. Women need to be treated as equals and should be given all the rights that come under the purview of human rights. Equality of status for the girl child has to be ensured and strict laws have to be in place to protect the life of the born and the unborn. 

The Sarvgunna Sampurnaa Indian Bride...

When you reach a certain marriageable age in India, expect a rise in attention and importance wherever you go. Whether it’s a wedding, a house-warming party or New Year’s Eve, people will come to you and engage in a long drawn conversation about your plans to get married, have kids, and settle down. You are not getting any younger (thanks for the reminder; I needed it to boost my self-esteem), are you learning how to cook? You can never keep your man happy if you don’t learn how to cook well – these are some very common statements that one can expect to encounter. When this happens to me, I walk away with a polite smile plastered on my face not knowing what to say. I feel like retorting, well it’s none of your business aunty ji when and with whom I plan to “settle down” but rudeness is not going to help anyone. It may however, make things worse as you get labelled as the nakhrewali tewars in the world.

Things get worse when it’s your lovely parents who are now on the lookout for an eligible groom. Eligible eh? The matrimonial pages in newspapers are full of it. The post of husband is empty; kindly apply if you meet the eligibility criteria. Sounds crazy but that’s exactly how I see it. Why else would one describe body stats, skin colour, educational qualifications, etc. just to get married? The bride has a wheatish complexion, is 5 ft 7 inches and is convent educated – these descriptions are classic matrimonial stuff.

Forget newspaper matrimonial classifieds, this is now the dot com age where matrimonial websites are fiercely competing to outdo each other. You can take your pick. Parents, who had shied away from modern technology, are more than willing to change their ways just to find a homely girl for their laadla son. The pressure to get married goes up a notch when they get requests which are good enough to go ahead with. Mission accomplished, now it’s all about screening and picking the good ones out of the lot.

All the girls you meet are suddenly gunawatis who can barelythink about themselves. Family comes first; cooking is my passion, and my dream is to be an agyakari bahu who knows how to behave. Well done! The girl has impressed everyone. A shy smile in the end seals the deal.

The bride and the groom both behave like sacrificial goats and give in to all the pressure. In some cases, it’s the other way round. Women are now tired of waiting for true love to happen. “True love shove gaya bhaar mein, I am ready to get married to the next man I meet who is good enough to be my husband, says 33-year-old Anita.

It all comes down to personal taste, preferences and outlook in the end. If you are up for an arranged marriage, there’s nothing wrong with it. Many couples who are now married have all met their partners through relatives, or online on matrimonial sites and are now very much in love. Initially, things may be awkward but once you get used to it, who knows you might even enjoy it. 

Ref. MSN "She"...

The sarvgunn sampanna bride

The sarvgunn sampanna bride

Ramadan

Ramadan

Stop killing of Muslims in Burma....!!!

Burma has a population 75 million with the Muslim population being just 0.7 million. The Burmese Muslims have been under this affliction after 1962 when the Army usurped the power in Burma. It all started on 3rd June 2012 when 11 innocent Muslims were killed by the Burmese Army and the Buddhist mobs after bringing them down from a bus. A vehement protest was carried out in the Muslim majority province of Arakan, but the Protestants fell victims to the tyranny of the mobs and the army.

 Trying to elude capture and an imminent killing; Burmese Muslims thronged to the Bangladeshi border, but all they met was dismay. The Government of Bangladesh refused to offer them asylum.

 Over 500 Muslim villages have been incinerated hither-to. Thousands have been exterminated. The persecution of the Burmese Muslims at the hands of the Buddhist mobs is at its full swing. Yet all the human rights organizations have maintained a criminal silence up till now. Has the Muslim world become so callous that they remain undeterred by such genocide?

 This is not a new thing or an unprecedented massacre. Muslims have been a subject to such hostility even before. If we go through theannals of history we come to the very tenable conclusion that Muslims were always on the suffering side. Islam is a religion of peace andharmony. It doesn’t allow its followers to lay-waste any other tenet. This leaves behind a big question mark. Why are the followersof such a peaceful religion being oppressed from time to time?

 The fear stricken faces of the poor Burmese Muslims really cuts one apart. The glimpse of their bruised bodies is a heart rendingspectacle. Where is the UN now? Why isn’t the International media highlighting this issue? Why are the competitive authorities of theMuslim world procrastinating?

 Stop killing the Burmese Muslims. JI did a meritorious job by staging rallies against this brutality. The government of Pakistan shouldraise a voice in favor of the poor Burmese Muslims at the international forum. The whole Muslim world should join hands to getthe poor Burmese out of their distress and misery.

In lieu of launching into a tirade against the killings, something should be done on the ground. If we don’t help out our brothers there then we are equally responsible for their bloodshed. We won’t be able to satisfy our conscience, and the abrasive cries of the Burmese Muslims will keep on pinching us throughout our lives.